i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
