i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
