Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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