Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
