We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
