wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So many bounce houses so little time
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize