Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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