she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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