Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
