If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
