Sry I called you an 8
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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