The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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