I hate your face
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
