I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You are the jesus of drinking
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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