I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
