I'm going to jail i love you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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