We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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