I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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