i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
