I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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