We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
