I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
