Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
