ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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