the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
