if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
