how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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