either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
