Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
