I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
