dude i'm inner monologue high
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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