Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish my penis had a tongue
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
