we're chasing vodka with high fives
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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