There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize