Who wears a wallet chain?!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
