I heard we made out
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
