Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
