I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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