well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
