I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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