i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
