dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
