i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
