You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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