i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
