hotel room ftw
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
