Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
