Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
