I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this just has baby written all over it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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