ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
