I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
