i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
