yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
