If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
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So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
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I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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