I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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