oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
