why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
