a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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