I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She's the barista slut.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
