I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
