I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
