It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
