i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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